!#; shoOting staRs Rachel's Journal
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[02 Sep 2002|12:44am]
How I love our conversations.

[30 Aug 2002|07:46am]

I can't sleep. >:/
1 shoOting star ; dream

[29 Aug 2002|01:11pm]
I fucking hate this.

Brittany and Mark are fighting, and I'm stuck in the middle of it.

Brittany has valid points but if what she's doing is what she wants to do, then be friends with him until you can really have him how you want to have him, dont tell him you love him, and all that shit.

Mark can't really expect Brittany to wait for him, if he knows how she is. And really he does.

She says he's assuming shit, but from what I've seen, his assumptions are true.

And then she said she didn't want talk to me about it again, EVER, were her exact words, BUT five minutes later, she was talking to me about it, and I'M THE ONE THATS QUICK TO SHOVE TIHNGS IN HER FACE.

1 shoOting star ; dream

[28 Aug 2002|02:00pm]
My Romance Meter
Optimist 80%
20% Cynic
Close 50%
50% Distant
Long Term 69%
31% Brief
What does my romance meter read?

I was curious, so I took this test. I just cut all my nails off, and it's very weird. No nails, and no hair, I'm really lost. :] I'll take pictures tonight, if someone would be so sweet as to teach me how to put them on here. I'm trying to decide if I like my hair or not. It was a big change. I missed Stephan's funeral today. I feel horrible about it, but I don't think I'd have stayed long. I don't like funerals. That could also be because the only one I've ever been to was my own fathers. Stephan was a regular in the restaurant. He got killed drinking and driving on a motorcycle. I can't stress how sad I was to find that out. He was the sweetest guy, he had four sons. Four boys were left fatherless on Saturday night. He crashed into a pole. I can't even.. blah.

[28 Aug 2002|12:33am]
I feel like theres a lot I want to say, and there really isn't. It's cold in here. Mom and I just got into another fight. I need to grow up because I've she's asked me the same question three times, so I said "I'll let you knwo when I hear from him, because it's rather annoying to be asked the same question repeatedly." and I need to grow up, and.. I don't know, something else. Fucking bitch. Anyhow. I'm rather confused as to a few aspects of my life, but I guess it'll pass in time. I'm glad I'm off tomorrow. I need a day to sit back and take it all in.

.. I guess we won't get to talk tonight. I was hoping we would, but I'll survive it. Just to let you know I'm thinking of you. :/


[28 Aug 2002|12:08am]
Conversations from last night are coming back full force.

I wonder where you are.

I miss you.


"she just shook her head, when her momma said 'are you sure he's the one?' she was.." [24 Aug 2002|01:26am]
One of the hardest things I've ever done is watch my best friend get hurt.

[22 Aug 2002|02:10am]

I miss you.
2 shoOting stars ; dream

[14 Aug 2002|10:59pm]
Living is easy with your eyes closed.

[11 Aug 2002|02:54pm]
I think I like a guy from work.

That can never be good.

1 shoOting star ; dream

[06 Aug 2002|01:57pm]
probability that skyiinedream has masturbated today:13%
skyiinedream's lucky number is:-3
skyiinedream is most like the color #1b1250:
by James

[01 Aug 2002|04:37am]
All in all, the only thing I really figured out tonight was that Scott is cool as hell. And sweet as pie. :)

I'm going to go to bed, hopefully fix the things I've mangled tonight, tomorrow.

Hope everyone is doing well. <3 You're in my thoughts.

[29 Jul 2002|05:47pm]
All I want is someone I can't resist; I know all I need to know by the way I got kissed.

Today sucks.
1 shoOting star ; dream

No smile is as beautiful as the one that struggles through tears. [29 Jul 2002|01:34am]
I feel like shit. Absolute and total shit.

I want everyone around me to leave me alone. I want to stop being the gobetween for certain people. You have questions? Ask them.

I want to get away. I want to get my braces taken off.

I want.. way too much.

PS Tony: How's that for your opening quote on the long awaited post? (subject)

I feel like I can't breathe. [26 Jul 2002|04:51pm]
I fucking hate guys.

I know I've been away for a while. I know I've been bad about commenting, though I have been reading and keeping up that way.

Doug, I know I said I'd call you and talk to you and what not, but I've been going crazy here, and when I'm not going crazy, all I want to do is be alone. I know I said I'd give you one of my days off this week, but if it's Sunday and Monday, it's not going to be possible. However, if those are the days, I'll hang out with you after I open one day during the week. I've been absolutely terrible, I know, and I'm sorry. I know you'll most likely say that I dont have any obligation to do anything, we aren't together, you're right, but I keep saying that I will and I haven't, and I'm just in a terribly shitty mood, and that isn't any fun anyway.

When I say guys suck, I mean this one guy, not all of you. I guess I could explain later, as I'm coming home tonight.

I hope Brittany is okay. I'm really worried.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Um.. Jeff. I hope everything goes okay with you and your Mom. I want to say I know how you feel, but I don't. I want to say everything will be okay, but broken promises never work. Just know you're in my thoughts, and prayers. :) Be good, sweetie.

Alex. I have pictures coming. I've been shitty about that too. I'm sorry. The poem you wrote was absolutely beautiful, and I want to see more.

Kevin and Kelly - everything will work out. Kevin, I know you're worried but not to worry, it will be okay. It always is, in the end.

I'd write more, but I'm already going to be late.

I'll be off work at 11:30 my time, with high hopes. I'll be home at 1, probably. Hopefully.

1 shoOting star ; dream

[23 Jul 2002|12:38pm]
Without a doubt, the sexiest feature on a man is his eyes.



Blah. :[ [22 Jul 2002|01:11pm]
I've been bad about updating, mostly because I haven't felt like writing. I've been really blah lately, been feeling really shitty. This Brian kid has me all tied up and I dont know what to do with it. Last night, he was being so sweet, and so nice, and then he was like 'let's have phonesex'.... fuck that. After I told him he'd better be kidding, he got all quiet, and we just sat there... so I was like "... I'm going to bed." And left. What the fuck? I took him off my buddy list in hopes I won't talk to him as much anymore. This just isn't good for me. And in knowing that, I can't seem to let go. I do finally know how Brittany feels, but in that same breath, she's done this more, she knows when to get attached, and when not to, and I don't have those boundaries. I have to work tonight, closing. That sucks rather badly. I'm sleepy, and all I want to do is sleep away all of this confusion. I know it won't help, but.. God.

In other news, my brother went to the hospital yesterday. All was fine, but thought I'd update that.

So, in conclusion boys suck, and stay away from the weed whacker. :]

[19 Jul 2002|03:56pm]
And just to let you know, I mean everything I say.. you're so beautiful sometimes, it hurts.

Thank you for helping me out Mr. Proof-Reader. :]

>:/ [17 Jul 2002|02:28pm]
I'm over being talked to like a five dollar whore. What the fuck? You said you didn't want a relationship, and that was fine. Hell, you live across the country, but don't call me four times a day because 'you need an upper' and then tell me you're flying me out there so I can give you a fucking blowjob. I'm not your typical girl, don't treat me that way. Don't tell me you think I'm beautiful then tell me I need to fool around more. I'll do it when I'm ready, don't push it.

I don't appreciate it.
3 shoOting stars ; dream

[17 Jul 2002|01:00pm]
"Sittin on the corner of Nowhere Rd, just between I wish I could, and I don't know.."

That quote will always remind me of Brian and the conversation we had last night.

I feel like shit. >:[

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